As I embark on this new journey, I have had ample opportunity to reflect on the “why and wherefore” of this pursuit. I have once again had to face all the doubts and misgivings that kept me from seriously pursuing my writing for so long.
What if this never really turns into anything? What if I have nothing to say? What if I end up wasting all kinds of time and effort? What if I’ve just convinced myself that I can be a writer, when I really can’t?
But beyond all the apprehension, I know the truth runs much deeper than that. Regardless of whether I write to a blog, in a journal, or just in scores of Word documents every day, I know now that my writing has become a part of me. I can’t not write anymore. Words have always bubbled up in my mind, and I can’t imagine a world where I refuse to let them spill forth into something real.
“Why do writers write? We write because it pushes us beyond the barriers of everyday existence into a world of what might be. A world of opportunity. An infinite variety of maybes and what ifs. A vast plain of words that might help describe the world in which we live. … For a writer, no two days are the same. The path may not always be smooth and predictable, but there are always new sights to see. There is always more to explore. … There’s no comfort in a thrilling story, and the same is true for a writer’s life. It is an isolated — but far from lonely — experience. With our words and fellow ‘travelers’ to keep us company, adventure lurks around every corner.”
I have experienced the reality of these ideas over the last eight months of consistent writing. When I remain diligent in my practice of writing, I find that writing opens my eyes in amazing ways. I love the concept that a writer lives twice: once in the actual experience of life, and again in recreating it through words. I observe the world differently, constantly looking for inspiration. It makes me more observant and more grateful for even the seemingly mundane experiences of everyday life.
So regardless of what comes from this leap of faith I have taken, I know that writing is, to embrace the cliché, “in my blood.” Regardless of whether I succeed or fail here, I know I cannot walk away from writing, and I look forward to the many lessons I know I will learn here, no matter what the outcome.